The "Other" and the Power of Respectful Dialogue
- Mark Sandler
- Jun 29
- 4 min read
This month, at the invitation of the Danforth Jewish Circle, I attended an award-winning documentary by Israeli-American director Joy Sela entitled, The Other. The documentary focuses on Israeli and Palestinian peacebuilders, including bereaved parents who chose to see the humanity in “the other.” The film’s synopsis captures its essence perfectly:
“Whether in non-violent co-resistance, peace-building, or shared community, we witness those who have only known each other through hate, bloodshed, inequality, and war, transcend beyond narratives and belief systems. They teach us that unlearning deep-seated conditioning is possible and that we can liberate ourselves from generational trauma, hatred and fear—no matter how ingrained and legitimate those fears are.”
Filming originally took place from 2017 to 2022, with its release scheduled to take place in 2023. Then came October 7 and the war that continues to this day. In the aftermath of October 7, the film revisited each of its subjects to determine whether their commitment to peace could survive the atrocities and conflict that followed. It could survive, and it did. As a result, the film showcases another reality, “an entire ecosystem of peace builders and activities in Israel-Palestine working together towards a better future.”
At the beginning of the documentary, we are introduced to Rami, an Israeli Jew who lost his 14-year-old daughter Smadar in a suicide bombing, and Bassam, a Palestinian Arab whose 10-year-old daughter Abir was shot to death by an Israeli border patrol officer. They sit side-by-side describing their losses, bonding simply as human beings mourning together the deaths of their children. Bassam quietly describes how over 30 Israeli Jewish families came to the hospital to pray for his daughter before her passing.
We observe musicians, such as an Israeli-Palestinian band and Palestinian rappers who promote dialogue through their music. A cross-cultural bereavement group. A child-care centre for both Palestinian and Israeli children. A Palestinian who swore to avenge the death of his brother, but chose instead to become a peace activist in partnership with Israeli Jews.
The film is not about the rights and wrongs of the existing conflict. Instead, it is simply a strong affirmation that Palestinians and Israelis of goodwill can overcome enmity, transformed by their common humanity.
At a post-screening Q and A session, the audience heard from director Joy Sela and Palestinian peace activist Bashar Al-shawwa, who assisted Sela in bringing forward Palestinians to participate in the project. They described the courage of the film’s subjects – whose efforts are frequently unwelcome in their own communities.
Quite a few members of the audience that evening are advocates for respectful dialogue here in Canada, several as members of ALCCA’s Respectful Dialogue Committee. Most, if not all, regarded the film as a “must-see” for diaspora community members, whether Jewish, Muslim, Palestinian, Arab, or Israeli—indeed, all Canadians. Sela advised that the film is being shown at Jewish Film Festivals across North America and will form part of a U.S. college tour.
Al-shawwa candidly discussed the challenges in showing the film to Palestinian and/or Arab community members in light of the strong campaign against normalizing dialogue with Zionists. We know that some diaspora Jews are also resistant to dialogue with those who hold diametrically opposed views on the Middle East conflict. As for me, I am pleased to meet with anyone who does not seek the elimination of the State of Israel or its people. Indeed, I commend the Danforth Jewish Circle for facilitating a program at which I and Professor Mira Sucharov discussed antisemitism and Zionism. Despite significantly different perspectives, we were, hopefully, modelling respectful dialogue.
During the Q and A session, I was reminded of Raihaana Adira, a Muslim student at McGill, who described for a House of Commons Committee in 2024 how she has both faced Islamophobia and witnessed antisemitism. She has been called an antisemite and a Nazi-Zionist. Having experienced discrimination as a Muslim, she greatly empathized with what so many Jewish colleagues were going through. She knew, from her travels, that Israeli Jews and Muslims can live side by side in peace. But her activism in fighting antisemitism resulted in significant ostracization from her Muslim communities, whether it be religious, academic, or social.
Her message to the House of Commons was a simple one: “One must not be isolated by one community for speaking out in support of another. As long as that continues, the hatred plaguing our country will continue.” Students must play a critically important role in respectful dialogue. They not only represent our future, but exist in highly polarized, at times toxic educational environments across Canada.
Indeed, it was a joint statement by the Muslim and Jewish Law Students at the University of Ottawa in the early days of the Middle East conflict that inspired a National Respectful Law Initiative that attracted the support of about 2,800 members of the profession. The joint statement captured one of the key themes of the documentary, namely how “shared pain unifies us rather than letting hatred divide us.”
I hope that the film, The Other, can be utilized as an important tool on and off campuses when we continue to develop respectful dialogue initiatives in Canada. These initiatives are not only desirable, but essential. The documentary made it clear that its subjects, Palestinians and Israelis, would never have met each other but for their peace activities.
We cannot continue to speak to only those we already agree with. Speaking to our own echo chamber is not a strategy to reduce hatred. Active listening and open-mindedness is a path to reduce hatred. They allow us to identify the common humanity we share, and the extremism we jointly reject.
About the Author
Mark Sandler, LL.B., LL.D. (honoris causa), ALCCA’s Chair, is widely recognized as one of Canada’s leading criminal lawyers and pro bono advocates. He has been involved in combatting antisemitism for over 40 years. He has lectured extensively on legal remedies to combat hate and has promoted respectful Muslim-Jewish, Sikh-Jewish and Black-Jewish dialogues. He has appeared before Parliamentary committees and in the Supreme Court of Canada on multiple occasions on issues relating to antisemitism and hate activities. He is a former member of the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal, a three-time elected Bencher of the Law Society of Ontario, and recipient of the criminal profession’s highest honour, the G. Arthur Martin Medal, for his contributions to the administration of criminal justice.